A little peek into the diaries of one of my most devoted slaves!

What does it mean to be under My boot?

Is it easy to be handpicked and tasked with little goals on a daily basis?

Can you handle this? When would you have given it all up or would you have?

290517

Today I finally met Mylady again. She had the boots on I bought for Her birthday. She looked more than great in them.

At the end of the session, I told my Mistress that I was unable to have an orgasm without her permission. This made her feel fantastic, I could see that. I said I even could not have an orgasm during or after the session without her explicit permission. So, the result is no orgasm and in denial till the next session, no matter when.

I am now in my bed and my balls are painful after 5 hours of erection and no cum. We'll see. I must be strong to prove to Mylady that I will be her number one slave forever and ever.

300517

Today it was not so difficult to obey. Not only I felt tired but the bruises and marks on my penis would have been too painful to satisfy myself. But more importantly: I now am so committed to my task, I want to show Mylady so much I want to improve, I want and need to be strong this time.

I explained Mylady that I felt my rebellious resistance flowing out of my body. I realize her significant impact on me and to some extent, I am more at ease now. Her guidance is necessary to improve and She is very dedicated to me. So I will impress Her and show Her how much I can grow.

310517

It is the last day of May, another month gone by. I am thinking of this incredible journey that started in September. It has enriched my life and I am glad to have made the step towards my Mistress. Little could I know it would be so rewarding I keep on coming back to Her without a shadow of a doubt.

As we get my rebellious behavior under control I think Mylady will take me to the next stage. So what might that be? I will elaborate on the wishes further in the coming days. I am allowed to fantasize as much as I want She said. Think and play, no cum.

I just need to come back on Monday. Ok, She was slapping hard and there was 1 whip I really could not take. But in the end, I felt a little weak to give in so early. I really should have taken more pain. I hope She doesn't consider me a pussy now. I am sure it was this one particular whip that brought me down so fast, it burned like hell and the markings on my hip and bottom are very red indeed. Next time more pain, I want her to hurt me more next time.

010617

The morning was dangerous. I woke up with a really hard penis, wet of pre cum. I have no idea what I must have been dreaming about but I assume it was erotic or so. Luckily no orgasm so all was under control.

Hard labor is a good remedy so I worked in my garden, did some shopping, did my administration, and did some other tasks. All Ok for the rest of the day. However, I am regularly thinking about the next sessions with Mylady and what She can, will, or might do with me. I realize that if I put my wishes on paper it is selfish! It should be about what She likes and wants. Her pleasure before my pleasure, that is how it must be. I am learning, it makes me happy and I hope I can keep up this improved way of thinking.

So Mylady it is your choice! You decide whether you want you use the candle wax, the whips, the electro, or the sounding sticks. You may choose what you like more: giving me a wild whipping or keeping me in denial for even a longer period. Tie me to the cross or put me in the lock-up facility. Grant me some water or not at all. Choose whatever you like and if it pleases you, it will please me.

I had a difficult moment during the day. I informed Mylady just to remind myself of the task. So what did She do? She added another task: translate some webpages in Dutch and guess what? My stories need to be translated. So an even harder task when being in denial

020617

Another day is almost gone. Just writing the daily report makes my penis grow and it is almost painful in my balls. I realize I have had no orgasm since Friday morning 26 May. More than a week now.

I wanted to surprise my Mistress with a hairdresser's voucher. But She informed me to wait for that gift as She had literally just visited the hairdressers a few days prior! I did not notice but I am very happy for her. I am going to think of another surprise.

Tonight I will work on the website a bit and think also on when I can see Her again. I want to serve Her, obey Her, and show Her I am capable of fulfilling orders. But I also want to feel the pain She can give me and if it comes to that: surrender to her.

030617

Already early this morning I asked Mylady for an appointment. It is very difficult this task and I am sure it will help me if I know when it can end. She agrees on a session on Wednesday 14 June, 11 days from now. I will be without cum then for almost 20 days. I imagine when locked up it is hard, but I am not locked up, extra difficult.

I must ask Mylady if she also has this type of "ball parachute" in the new place. I read about this device which is around your balls and the Mistress can add some weights. Seems like a very nice instrument to keep a slave in place. She also should use my humbler next time, if that would please Her obviously, I assume when She then starts hitting my bottom it will be more painful and no escape is possible.

I am still more than 100% committed to the assignment She will be so proud when I can tell her I obeyed, obeyed, obeyed, and complied. I am Looking forward to that moment in about 2 weeks.

040617

So one more day is almost gone. I made an account on The Funhouse, they have a nice selection of BDSM articles and I know Mylady likes to shop there as well so I can buy her a gift card.

Tonight I will finish working on her website. I am almost done and after that, I can re-read and improve the translation. I am sure my Mistress will be pleased with the work.

I need to sum up my fantasies and then see which ones will match Mylady's wishes to control me.

I am most afraid of the sounding sticks. So far Mylady has used them only once. I remember how unpleasant it was but I am so anxious to experience it. I am confident Mylady will guide me along this as well as She always does.

I would love to experience the candle wax and ice treatment. I know She likes that too so I assume we will do that in the near future. Also, electro can be used I even think we need to set a new record. Need to discuss this with Mistress Emma.

050617

So, it is time to go to sleep. I just spoke to my Mistress for more than 20 minutes. Luckily She allowed me to finish up what I was doing first: caging my penis. I have been close a few times and I do not want that. I want this to be right, I need to finish it. Not only because it is her order but also because it shows my dedication and my growing submissiveness.

I asked Mistress Emma a favor and we rescheduled our meeting for this Wednesday. This is because, after making the translations for her website I relived the "I surrender" story more than once and I realized I was a bit of a sissy last time and I did not give her enough chance to hit me (and I promised her free game for her birthday ). So I must give her a new opportunity.

Yes, She granted me the favor. In return, I had to tell her about the surprise that was on its way: the small fashion cheque. But Ok, She likes surprises but wants to be in control too. And I am too weak to resist her. Bloody conclusion: I am too weak to resist Her and honestly? It feels good because I am weak in Her hands. She is my Mistress so it is Ok to be weak with Her.

Now I am caged and I think I will not remove it till Wednesday or only to wash and shave. I will let Mylady unlock me, that will give her extra pleasure. And you know, it is so nice to please her! I love to do that and I know She likes the little gifts etc.

Was it hard so far? Yes!! Today after working in the garden and my running training I slept a while only to wake up with a real erection. I could feel just a little pre cum but took immediate action to control myself. Luckily no orgasm I am still on the right track. Less than 48 hours left.

Mylady, when you read this report: Thank you for this pleasant journey so far and under Your control, I am willing to cross every border. You command I follow your lead no matter what you decide. You are my owner and like it states: my body, my soul, my spirit belong to you and you are free to do whatever you like. And I will Thank you for it too.

060617

Well, I am pretty sure if Mylady finds out how much excitement this caging gives She will find a reason to keep me locked or, at some stage, will lock me up again. Ok, I realize I have the key and it would be different if She would have the keys but nevertheless, I am not cheating!!

For me, the cage is now a great help to obey and to reach my goal. I am, also greatly Thankful to my Mistress Who has changed our agenda, going to comply and finish this assignment. I hope She will be proud. And as I am so grateful I do not demand a reward, but of course will accept one when She gives it to me. Instead, I want to show my gratitude to Her and let Her decide whether She gives me little or a lot of pain. Hahaha, I hope She doesn't put a mouth gag in so I will not be able to whisper my surrender.

Only a few more hours till I have to submit my report. I will write those lines around midnight. Mylady will read it and use this to make our meeting a great success.

Hahaha, I just was thinking: you wear your cage, you sit in a bar or something. A woman hits on you and seduces you, what are you going to do when you go with her to her place. Embarrassing? Extra exciting?  Well, Mylady would not want me to be involved with other women so I will not have such a dilemma, but still...

When I visited Mylady in Her new studio I was surprised by the amount and the size of their dildos. Some of those are incredibly big. I wonder who can take such huge things. Perhaps Mylady and I need to try to fit one or two orally. I wonder what size would fit in my mouth? Maybe, Mylady you could rape me orally as to teach me once and for all that rape is bad.

Sometimes when writing I get excited. That is difficult and not nice while wearing a cage. But it keeps me where She wants me: in control of NO orgasm. So it is better this way.

I just finished an important task, I polished the tag that states who is my owner. It is important to have that in order, shining means respect for my Mistress. I know She loves the tag and I am bloody proud to wear it in her presence.

I had a weak moment. I was thinking about masturbating a lot but that was NOT Ok. I need to stay focused. So I took the paddle Mylady gave me and started hitting myself until I regained control. Stupid fool, you could have damaged the relationship with your Mistress forever.

So this is the report. Tomorrow I will meet my Mistress and I will do whatever it takes to please Her.