Angels & Demons

This is the story of my first session with Mistress Emma & how I fell in love with her.

I hope this story can inspire other scared slaves who want to become a part of Mistress Emma's world, but who, like me at first, might not be ready yet.

To truly understand my story, I have to start at the beginning.

 

It all started about 2 years ago. I had been exploring the BDSM scene for a couple of years already, starting slow & gradually experimenting more & more with the kinky side of BDSM.

I mainly liked being completely immobilized, while my mistresses had their way with me, but it all remained quite soft. I never had a fetish for the really hard BDSM practices that involved a lot of pain. In fact, I don't even LIKE pain. Even now, pain is not my driver for a BDSM session.

One night, I was browsing online, when I stumbled upon Mistress Emma's blog. I was mesmerized. Damn, She was beautiful…

I immediately started reading every story on Her website. Now this is a REAL Dominatrix, I thought. I loved how She made her slaves powerless & treated them like her puppets.

And the torture she inflicted on them… I was mind-blown.

I fantasized what it would be like to be one of them, but at the same time, I was scared. Like REALLY scared.

I knew I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready for HER.  And to be honest, I didn't think I would ever be ready…

 

Nevertheless, a seed was planted. I started requesting my previous mistresses to make me feel powerless. To do things to me that I didn't directly enjoy, while I was completely immobilized.

Even if I struggled or tried to protest, they didn't show me mercy.  In the end, however, they all showed me mercy when I was struggling or protesting, even though I didn't use the safe word.

And each time they did so, I felt relieved, but soon after I felt disappointed. This was not what I wanted. This was not what I needed.

I never got to experience being TRULY powerless, as I could get them to stop just by struggling & protesting.

So I noticed I kept coming back to Mistress Emma's blog, to read the stories of her slaves… And how I longed to be one of them. Even trying a harder session that involved pain.

Not because I enjoy pain. Quite the opposite actually. But because Mistress Emma enjoys inflicting pain onto Her slaves, and because I wanted Her to make me feel powerless to stop Her.

I started writing messages to Mistress Emma multiple times, but I could never send them. I was still too scared. Still not ready.

Until one night. That fateful night…

To be honest, I had gone out partying & got home a bit drunk. The seed that was planted had grown. And it was clawing its way out. There was no stopping it anymore.

So in my slightly drunk state, I finally mustered up the courage to contact Mistress Emma.

I sent her a WhatsApp message, telling a bit about my experience & about my fantasy. I wanted a session with a strict & cruel Mistress that would push my boundaries. A Mistress that would make me beg for mercy. But... There should be no mercy, no matter how hard I begged. I wanted to feel powerless.

Then I went to sleep.

When I woke up, I saw Mistress Emma had replied. With a voice message of 5 minutes…

I panicked.

You know those days you wake up after a drunk night & think: "Ow fuck, why the fuck did I do that last night?"

Well, as I woke up, I thought it was one of those days. However, as you will see during the remainder of this story, it turned out to be the exact opposite…

I count my message to Mistress Emma that night as one of the best decisions I ever made.

 

When listening to Mistress Emma's voice message, my panic started to subside. She sounded very friendly & welcoming. And her voice sounded like the voice of an Angel.

Mistress Emma noticed in my message that it would be my first time to have this kind of session & She took the time to explain to me a bit about Herself & how such a session works. And that for the type of session I wanted, we would need at least 3-5 hours to execute it properly.

I must have listened to that message over 20 times that day.

The fact that She took the time and effort to create a voice message to put me at ease & to guide me through this, showed me that She is a true Mistress. Someone who understands that a BDSM relationship is a two-way street, built on trust. I already knew then, that Miss Emma would be my only Mistress going forward.

And I fell in love with the sound of her voice… Even now, I still keep replaying Her voice messages.

However, I didn't expect a session of 3-5 hours to be needed, so I replied to Mistress Emma that I would need to save up for this session, but that I would contact her again once I had the money. Because it's my first time & I wanted to do it right.

I was scared that this would put Her off. That She would think I was a faker.  But The Mistress replied that She understood & agreed with me. And that She looked forward to our future session already.

She truly is an Angel.

So, after a couple of months of saving up, I contacted Mistress Emma again to set a date for our session. We scheduled the session 4 weeks from that day.  (My agenda is crazy sometimes)

There. Done. The date was set. All I could do was wait.

The thing is, I'm not good at waiting.  So after about a week, I requested a video call with Mistress Emma to talk about the session, to see Her & to just hear Her Angelic voice again… God, I love that voice.

During that video call, both Mistress Emma & I started to get really excited about the session. And in our excitement, we already made detailed plans for the session.

She was going to use a chain with alligator clips on my balls, which apparently Mistress Emma can only use while I'm gagged & tied up because the previous slave She used it on screamed so loud that the neighbors thought someone was dying… And we also agreed that I would only have a limited amount of uses for the safe words. As I'm too much of a pussy & would use them too much otherwise.

After that call, I knew I was fucked. I was terrified. And I loved it.

Finally, the day had come. I was in turmoil. I didn't know what to feel. And I felt everything at once.

Excitement, fear, glee, doubt, hopelessness, …  I felt it all.

I pulled myself together and rang the doorbell.  And. There. She. Was.

Dressed like an Angel. Completely in white. A sexy suit, with a beautiful white bra underneath that accentuated her divine breasts.

I humbly requested an outfit that showed some cleavage and sent Mistress Emma a picture from Her site of an outfit I liked.

But DAMN. I did not expect this. The way she looked was beyond my wildest dreams. Right then & there, I fell in love. And not just with her voice this time.

She welcomed me in & put me at ease.

We had a very open & genuine conversation, so we made sure we were on the same page about the session.

But to be honest, the only thing I could focus on, was how beautiful She looked…

Then Goddess Emma showed me where the shower was, and told me to take a deep breath, prepare myself & come back when I am ready. Because the session would start once I came in.

When I came back, Mistress Emma was waiting for me with a cane in her hand. Her entire demeanor had changed.

Gone was the friendliness. Gone was the Angel. This was the Demon's domain. The Demon had taken its rightful place & was about to claim its next victim.

Mistress Emma said She was already disappointed in me, and I knew what she meant. I barely came in and was already in trouble.

I didn't show Her the amount of respect & reverence She deserves.

So I immediately dropped to my knees, which pleased her. She started walking towards me & was talking to me.  I still can't remember what She was saying. I was too mesmerized.

She came up behind me, put her cane against my throat & pulled my head against her body. Oh, how wonderful it was to be touched by Mistress Emma. I wish I could go back & stay like that forever.

On my knees before Mistress Emma, with my head resting against her body.

It was time to put a collar on me. To show me my place. Before I knew it, She fastened my collar to the ceiling with a chain. So I couldn't run away.

Once I was bound, she took one of her whips and started to use it on my cock & balls. It hurt.

I tried to move away from Her but I couldn't get far. My neck was straining against the collar, while I tried to twist away. But Mistress Emma was always there. Following me, whipping me, allowing no escape. She enjoyed seeing me squirm… Knowing it was useless.

After a while, I managed to break the collar in my efforts to get away. I thought She would be mad, but instead, She was rather amused & pleased with Herself.

"I'm happy I frighten you this much, slave." She said.

However, She didn't want me to get away again. So it was time to up Her game. She put me on the spanking bench and tied my ankles, upper legs, upper body & hands to the bench.

For a brief minute, the Angel appeared again. She walked around me, softly caressed my back with Her hands, came to stand before me & teased me with a nice view of her beautiful cleavage.

"There, slave, now you have nowhere to run," She whispered in my ear. Fuck. The Demon was back.

She took one of Her whips & started hitting me. Soft & slow at first. Almost teasing. That didn't last long, however. Soon the blows came faster & harder.

It already started to hurt, but I knew it was only the beginning. This was only the first whip, the lightest one. And I only had a limited amount of safe words to use.

Then the next whip. I don't know which one it was, but it was a more painful one.  Before using it, She always came to stand before me to show me Her new waepon.

To frighten me. To show me it would be harder to endure.  Again, it started slowly. And again, before long the blows came faster & harder. Sometimes She left some time between the lashes. Sometimes She just kept going with one blow after the other, allowing no time for recovery. I started to whimper.

Mistress Emma stops for a minute and lets her hand slowly caress my back again. There She is again! The Angel! She stands against me, Her side touching my side. Oh, how it soothes me. Makes me long for more of Her touch. Again, She allows me a quick peek at Her wonderful cleavage. Teasing me with it. Torturing me. Knowing it's forever out of reach.

But the Demon had not disappeared. No, it was just waiting for its chance to catch me off guard. The next whip came. More painful.

This time, She doesn't start slow. I start to scream & thrash. But I couldn't move, could I? And all the while, Mistress Emma was unfazed. She. Just. Kept. Going. I don't know how long she used this whip. All I knew was that it hurt like hell and there was no getting away this time. The Demon was dragging me into its lair. And I was powerless to stop it.

After some time, Mistress Emma stopped again. Thank God, the Angel is back, or so I thought.  Mistress Emma got some ice cubes & rubbed them over my back & buttocks.

"This will help with the pain, slave. Because I'm not done with you yet. There are many more whips to come. I want you to endure more for me." She whispers in my ear.

At this point, She takes out 2 whips and starts using them at the same time on both my sides. I didn't know what was happening. How did I get myself into this? How does She keep going? Doesn't She see how much pain She's causing me? I start screaming for REAL now. This time, Mistress Emma wasn't unfazed anymore. No. She was getting more & more excited. She hit faster. And harder. Giving no respite. The Demon got me into its lair fully & was being fueled by my screams.

"Ooh, I love the artwork we're creating. All those nice colors on your butt. This is real ART." She says.

And on it goes. My body is burning at this point. I start thrashing really hard now as well. And the belts that kept my upper legs in place lowered a bit on my legs, which gave me a bit of wiggle room.

I was finally able to get a bit of respite. I was able to adjust myself a bit while the blows kept coming, so they were hitting slightly different areas, which helped with the pain. If only a little bit.

Needless to say, this was not to the liking of Mistress Emma. She stops hitting me, says nothing, puts her whips to the side & walks towards me again.

I knew what was going to happen. She put the belts back in their place & tightened them further, so they couldn't loosen up anymore.

Mistress Emma would not allow me the wiggle room to ease my suffering. The Demon needed its sustenance. It wanted my screams.

She picks up her 2 whips again & continues. Even harder & faster than before. To punish me for DARING to try & avoid her blows.  I start begging for mercy. Pleading for her to stop. Screaming all the while.

This is what She lives for. Screams are Her fuel. But screaming AND begging for mercy… That's Her lifeblood. Spurring Her on. Making Her feel ALIVE.

Oh, how She loves it. But it wasn't enough for Her. Mistress Emma wants more.

She goes for the next whip. A new kind. A very think single-tail whip. She was full of glee when She came to show this one to me. She got a taste of what it felt like to be alive, and it had only awakened her appetite.

I was terrified. "How much worse could it get?" I wonder.  It wasn't long before I found out…

My Domme started hitting me with the new whip and I couldn't take it anymore. It. Hurt. So. Much.

It was here that I had to use my first safe word. The safe word to lower the intensity. I was starting to break.

Mistress Emma immediately stopped. A safe word is a safe word after all. But She was disappointed. The Demon only just got a taste of Life, and it was already being taken away. It didn't want to go back to a "lesser whip". But it had a plan. There was no way She was going to let her victim out of her lair. She only just got me here, and She wasn't about to let me leave… She would make sure of that.

Miss Emma went to get some more ice cubes & rubbed them on my body again to numb the pain. She let the Angel out for a minute to soothe me. All to lull me into a false sense of safety.

I immediately started to feel guilty. I disappointed my Mistress…

After a minute or 2 of soothing me, She moves towards Her rack of canes & with a devilish smile, She says: "I've just noticed that we haven't used anything from this rack yet…"

I'm terrified at this point. I don't know how much I'm still able to take. But I didn't want to disappoint Her Majesty again & besides, I already used up one of my safe words & we still had a long time to go in the session…

Miss Emma sees the fear on my face and the Demon hunger. Her lifeblood is within reach again.

Slowly, She starts walking around me & teases me with the cane. She waves it over my body but doesn't hit me with it. Not yet at least. She's preying on my fear.

She touches me with the cane & I immediately recoil. She didn't even hit me.

But I whimpered anyway & am almost crying. Mistress Emma starts laughing. The Demon was playing with its victim.

Suddenly the blow comes. One hit. Then another. Then a fake hit again. Then multiple hits in a row. I SCREAMED.  This was worse than the whips.

My butt was really burning.  Then She goes to sit on the table, that is next to the spanking bench, and says: "Now, slave, let's really make this an artwork."

She starts hitting my butt with Her cane non-stop. Each hit is in the same place as the previous one. And she keeps going. She's not stopping for a second. There is no rest.

I scream so hard, that I'm starting to have trouble breathing. I beg for mercy & try to get away from the blows. But I'm completely stuck now. There's no more wiggle room.

I don't know how long She went on, but it felt like an eternity. The blows just kept coming.

I'm in so much pain. I don't know if I've felt this before. And still, She keeps hitting me. I can't believe how She keeps this up. Doesn't she get tired?

But no. As I said, this is what the Demon lives for. It drives Her.  I couldn't take it anymore & I screamed the second safe word in a burst of pure desperation. The one to stop this game.

Mistress Emma immediately stops again.

There. It happened. Halfway through the session & my 2 safe words were gone. Fuck.

Looking back, I believe that was her plan all along. I only had one left, but that one was only to be used for a real safety emergency. Not just because I'm in pain.

"Waaw, I never had a slave scream the safe word with that much desperation." She smiled. A look of pure joy.

I lay exhausted & Mistress Emma gets some more ice cubes. While She rubs them on my butt, She asks me: "Do you realize what just happened, slave?"

"Yes, Mistress. I used up all my safe words already." - I whimper.

"Indeed slave and we still have a while to go…" She says with a big smile. The Demon got me where it wants me. I'm in Her lair to stay… There is no way out.

Mistress Emma unties me & allows me some rest. She gives me some water & chocolate to get my energy level up a bit.

"I'm proud of you, slave. I didn't think I would get to use the canes on you. I thought you would use the second safe word before I would even get to hit you. You got a lot further than I thought."

Those words, spoken in Her Angelic voice, made everything ok. I made Her proud. I didn't disappoint Her… I felt warm again.

I was still a bit dazed though. I realized I still had the remaining half of the session to go and I had no more safe words. Well, except the one for real emergencies.

Since it was my first time for this type of session & I made my Mistress proud, I decided to be bold & asked Her if She would allow me an extra use of the safe words for the remainder of the session.

She said no.

Mistress Emma was friendly but strict. She explained it was important we abided by the rules & agreements we made upfront because otherwise, I would start to feel spoiled. And I would start to expect that in future sessions with Her as well.

And we couldn't have that.  Of course, She was right. As a slave, I should not be spoiled. There was no other option than to continue with no further safe word. And I'm happy She taught me that lesson. After all, I needed Her guidance in this.

After my short rest, it was time for a new game. Mistress Emma guided me towards her table, instructed me to lay on my back, and then secured my hands & feet to the table.

She looks into my eyes, Her face inches away from mine. I feel Her warm breath. Her gorgeous breasts are so very close. And She starts whispering to me again. I can't even remember what She said anymore. I was too mesmerized by her beauty. I longed to be able to touch her.

Then She took a VERY long rope & started tying my entire body to the table with this. She takes her time for this, as She wants me COMPLETELY immobilized for the next game.

While Miss Emma is doing this, She starts talking to me: "I have a confession to make, Slave. I came into this session with an extra goal, apart from everything we discussed. Can you guess what it is?"

"I don't know, Mistress."

"Guess, Slave".

I start guessing, but I keep guessing wrong. Yet She demands I keep guessing until I get it.

Until finally, I finally figured it out...

I see her face light up & She says: "Yes, Slave. Very good! Not many slaves can still use their heads while in this state!

I was hers from the moment, She opened the door, dressed like an Angel.

When she's done tying me to the table, I literally cannot move my body. I have nowhere to go & no safe words anymore. The fear starts building again as I know what's coming. I told Her I was curious about CBT, and I'm starting to regret that at this point.

Mistress Emma sees this & the Demon stirs again. It's not satisfied yet.

First, She gets the nipple clamps & attaches them to my nipples. Then she gets a candle & starts dripping candle wax on my cock & balls.

I was scared of this, but in the end, I could handle it relatively well. Mistress Emma noticed & so this game didn't last very long.

This was not what the Demon wanted. It wanted to feed on my pain, my screams & my hopelessness.

So it was time for a new plan. The electro kit was brought out.

Now, the fear was fully there again. And it was visible on my face. "Oh come on now, slave. You knew this was coming…" She says with her devilish smile again.

She attaches multiple electrodes to my cock & balls & powers up the kit. Slowly but surely the intensity is increased. I feel the electricity coursing through my balls. Not a constant flow. It alternates.

Sometimes soft, sometimes a bit more painful. And then suddenly a spike of electricity causes me to scream. And again. It keeps alternating. I never know when the next spike will come. There is only one certainty. It will come again. And I will scream.

Mistress Emma laughs. "Yes, there it is again. The screams…" She takes a chair and just sits down. Watching me. Laughing while I scream. Pure bliss for her.

She comes close & increases the intensity.  I scream louder.

"Take it, slave!"

After a while, I start getting used a bit to the intensity, & my screams start to lower. She didn't like this. The intensity is increased again… & Mistress Emma goes back to her chair.

I'm screaming & thrashing when the spikes hit. And my screaming only gets louder now. Suddenly, Mistress Emma stands up, lowers the intensity & walks away.

Finally, it's over, I foolishly thought.

And then... She comes back with a mouth gag & puts it in my mouth. "There slave, that's better. Now you can scream all you want." She increases the intensity higher than before & goes back to her chair.

Now I'm almost crying when the spikes hit.  I'm looking at Her with pleading eyes. Shaking my head. Trying to escape my predicament. Trying to plead for Her to stop. To beg for mercy.

But there are only 2 sounds. The sound of my muffled screams & Mistress Emma's gleeful laughter as She revels in my hopelessness.

The Demon is feasting. I don't know what to do anymore. There is nothing I CAN do.

I lost sense of time at that point. I don't know how long it went on.  My mind was blank. There was nothing of meaning anymore. There were only brief moments of respite between the spikes.

But even those were filled with dread & the certainty that they would come again.

Then, She gets up. She moves towards me again & starts to reach for the electro kit.

She's going to increase the intensity again.  I panic. I can't take it anymore. I start to scream & hyperventilate.

I start thrashing as hard as I can, screaming into the gag "NO, NO, NO, PLEASE, NO!", shaking my head back & forth…

She loves it. Her hand touches the button on the electro kit…  This is it. I can't. I just can't.

She broke me.

I scream the emergency safe word through the gag. Again and again. I keep screaming it.  I was in full panic mode.

Mistress Emma sees my distress & the Angel takes over. She turns off the Electro, puts Her hand on my head & speaks soothing words to me.

She tells me to breathe.

"It will be ok."

"Just relax. Breathe deeply."

All while caressing me softly.

I'm still breathing heavily. Tears start to well up. It's over. My ordeal is over.

Mistress Emma lets me rest & slowly unties me. All the while speaking comforting words. Telling me it's ok.

Her voice soothes me.

When I'm fully untied, She stands close to me, caresses me & asks me if I'm ok.

She genuinely cared. She saw I needed Her at that moment, and She took care of me.

I went to Hell for Her. She broke me. But now She was there for me to help me pick up the pieces. She didn't abandon me. We're in this together.

This meant the world to me.

"Yes, mistress. It's better now." I reply.

After a while, She asks: "Has it been enough for you?  Or would you like to try another game? It's up to you if you want to continue."

She was smiling. This was not a devilish smile, however. This was the smile of an Angel.

Of someone who cared about me.

The Demon was satisfied for now & had allowed the Angel to emerge.

"I can't handle the chain with alligator clips anymore at this point, Mistress," I told her.

"Don't worry, slave. That game is over.  Now, I can't promise the next game will be better or worse. We'll have to see. But the choice is up to you." She says lovingly.

I was scared to start another game, but I didn't want to disappoint Her. Especially not when I know She's there to guide me.

So I agreed to try one more game. Even though I was terrified to go through something like that again.

Luckily for me, Mistress Emma was proud of what I had achieved this session & She decided to reward me.

She got her vibrator & started using it for my pleasure. It was heaven.

And not because of the physical pleasure. I was somewhat desensitized by the previous game, so my physical pleasure was limited.

But because Mistress Emma was proud of me. This filled me with pure bliss.

I asked if I could touch Her arm & Her side and She allowed this.

"I love you", I told her.  And I meant it.

After some time, Mistress Emma gets a more powerful vibrator to use, as the other one would not be sufficient at this point.

This one feels really good. But still pales in comparison to the love I feel at that moment for my Mistress. For my Angel.

In the end, Mistress Emma said that I only had one minute left to achieve my reward. Or that otherwise She was going to send me home without one.

This was not meant to threaten me. It was to help me. Because during that minute, She kept talking to me. Telling me I can do it, but how little time I have left.

Her voice is spurring me on. Her beautiful beautiful voice.

Finally, I got my reward. And what a reward it was!  It was not the vibrator that got me there. It was her voice.

After the session, Mistress Emma guided me back to the couch & gave me some chocolate again. We had a nice talk about the session, even though I was still a bit dazed & my mind was pretty blank.

She told me how proud She was of me. That She saw I really gave it my all for her. How She enjoyed herself so much during the session.

I felt warm.

I love you, Mistress Emma.

It was time to go home…

When I got home, I didn't know how I felt about the session. As I said at the beginning of my story, I don't have a fetish for pain. Pain is not my driver for a BDSM session, and I endured a lot of pain during this session…

So I didn't know what to feel. Yet still, even after a session where I mainly suffered for Her, the memory that was foremost in my mind was when She was standing next to me, with her body against mine, whispering in my ear…

And how She took care of me when I needed Her. How wonderful that felt. I knew I wanted to be with Her again. I wanted to worship Her.

So one thing was certain. She was stuck in my head. She achieved that goal.

We're now one week later and I have thought about our session every minute of every day so far. And the beautiful marks She left on my body are fading away way too quickly.

And I hate that they're fading already. They were my physical reminder of Her. And now they're almost gone.

I hope that next time, the marks Mistress Emma gives me are deeper & stay for a couple of weeks at least…

But even now, after having my first session with Mistress Emma and letting it sink in, I'm still a bit sad & disappointed. Just like the times before.

Not in Her, mind you. Mistress Emma is magnificent and did everything I longed for & more. But disappointed in myself.

I told myself I wanted to feel powerless, to give her full control. Yet I used all my safe words to make Her stop… It was ME who stopped Mistress Emma from going all the way. From truly enjoying Herself fully.

She didn't even get to use Her chain with alligator clips on me. Something She was really excited about! And I took that away from Her!

So was I really powerless? As I wanted to be? Was my fantasy TRULY fulfilled?

No. No, it wasn't. And I only have myself to blame for it.

So I make this promise to myself and to you, Mistress Emma. On punishment of being banished from your presence. (Which is worse than a death sentence)

For our next session you may decide how much safe words I can use, if any. Even the one for safety reasons is fully up to you to decide if I can use it or not.

As I don't know if I will ever have the courage myself to actively ask for a session without a safe word, knowing now what the Demon is capable of…

I place my fate fully in your hands. And I hope you will show me what it means to be TRULY powerless.

I know the Angel will guide me, but it will be the Demon that comes to collect on my promise.

I might have gotten home, but I haven't left its lair.

I'm here to stay.

Forever.

Your slave,

S.