I can change!!!
I was such a disappointment for my Goddess – Mistress Emma. But now I finally found the right way as my eyes were really opened by her a few weeks ago! My behavior was, according to Mistress Emma very bad because I didn’t give her the respect which she earns. I was not following the agreements which she made with me and was losing her valuable time. Mistress Emma and I met for the first time about 1 year ago and during this year she made a big impression on me. Yet I was too scared to obey her.
A few weeks ago, I asked Mistress Emma if it would be possible to make an appointment on a Friday. My Goddess gave me permission to make an appointment and pay the session fee in advance. She warned me that she will punish me for my bad behavior without any mercy! I paid the session fee in advance and waited until it was the time to meet my Supreme Goddess again.
I pushed the bell at the door of the Studio. Mistress Emma opens the door. She was surprised to see me. Because she was not expecting that I had the balls to come after what happens in the past. My Goddess let me in her studio and allow me to sit, and went to get some drinks. In the meantime, I saw the fireplace and what was in the fire. She put there a metal whip and a branding sign. Oh my god, I thought and at that time I wanted to run away already. But then Mistress Emma came back with the drinks.
She explained to me again that it will be a very heavy session and that I will be punished for not doing what we agreed and running away every time. Then I was feeling really miserable and couldn’t move or run away because Mistress Emma was so right! I told my Supreme Goddess that I didn’t expect to be welcomed to serve her. She responded that I will not serve today but will be punished and after that – kicked out.
I promised Mistress Emma beforehand, to wear a chastity belt without lock when we meet again. The first thing Domina Emma did, was putting her own lock on it! She fixed my body and legs to the spanking bench and start whipping me. The first whip I could handle but the second and the third were really heavy. I was not feeling comfortable at all. The thought of the fire, the words of Mistress Emma were going around in my head and I was in a real panic. I couldn’t handle the whips not at all anymore, I was screaming, crying and the only thing I was thinking about was to run away.
Mistress Emma stopped whipping on a certain moment and said that she will not allow me to go away. I was a pussy who only want to run away for his real feelings, according to Mistress Emma. She was once again so right. Because I was pussy Mistress Emma decide to rape me with different sizes of dildo’s and strap – on’s. Then Mistress Emma stops and ordered me to clean myself up and dress me up. I was still shaking when I came back.
Mistress Emma offered me one more chance – the very last one! I need to do exactly what Mistress Emma ordered, I must listen and obey, I should never question her judgment, I can’t escape. Not this time! My Domina will change my attitude, behavior and stop me from running away every time. This means that there is also a lot of work for me and a lot of discipline!
I was really surprised about the offer Mistress Emma make me because I was really thinking, she will kick me out after the punishment. The emotional and physical shock that happen during my stay in the studio of Mistress Emma wow. Until now Mistress Emma was so right every time and I was feeling more and more grateful. I made a new agreement with my Goddess that I will start working on my behavior and will do what we agreed. The first physical agreement was that I will wear the chastity belt for 1 whole month. Therefore, no orgasm is allowed anymore. Of course, I will not get any key and need to learn how to live with it! Without any way of mercy! Then Mistress Emma send me away home.
I left the studio, sit in my car and drove 1 street further, parked the car. Initially, I had to cry about what was happening. The session with Mistress Emma had a very big impact on me! In my head, I hear the words of Mistress Emma every second of every minute of every hour of every day. On a certain moment, I found rest and I was thinking more clearly. Then I had to say to myself that Mistress Emma was so right! I was so surprised how Mistress Emma knew all those things.
My emotional situation changed into a submissive and grateful. Then I come to realize that I have to be ashamed of myself for not giving her the respect she deserves. At the same time, I realized as well that Mistress Emma had so much patience with this stupid slave, not sending me way forever. She really wanted to help me change my behavior and escaping attitude but according to her rules! At that time a switch in my head turned to the other way! A feeling altogether with a thought came up to my mind. I don’t want to disappoint Mistress Emma anymore! I want to treat her with the utmost respect as Mistress Emma is a beautiful lady outside but also inside. I now realized that Mistress Emma wanted to break me completely during that session and she succeeds! Till the day of today, I think about it and feel guilty about what I did!
I agreed with Mistress Emma that she will have the right to check from time to time if I am really wearing the chastity belt. I need to provide every moment of the day within 3 minutes a photo when Mistress Emma is requesting for it. The first time I succeed but the second time I failed as I fell asleep and didn’t hear the WhatsApp tone. I felt so miserable and asked myself how this could happen. Mistress Emma will punish me for this failure later in the month and she is right! I made the decision, whatever happens, I will not disappoint Mistress Emma with the chastity belt thus will wear it as long as Mistress Emma wants.
The first week was pretty easy to manage. It is a very comfortable tight chastity belt which hardly can move which is good for the skin. After the 2nd week, the horny feeling starts bit by bit more and more. I start playing with my nipples and torture them with my hands. Later, after approval of Mistress Emma – with nipple clamps as well. The only problem was that the horny feeling was not going away during the day. It was getting worse. But when the feeling finally gets away, I was so proud that I did this for Mistress Emma, which gave me more and more submissive feeling.
I start with Greeting in the morning and in the evening Mistress Emma in a humble way. A few days later I started also giving my WhatsApp GPS locations, my home address, copy of my bank card and even the pin code on my phone to make bank transfers. I was so grateful about this last chance from Mistress Emma and I don’t want to fail, not again!
My way of thinking, how I approach and serve Mistress Emma at this moment is changed completely in comparison with a few weeks ago. Also, I need to be honest because I think if Mistress Emma didn’t break me mentally I’m not sure if I had achieved this. At our last session, I only wanted to run away because it was not comfortable! Now this changed the other way around and I want to do everything for Mistress Emma – my Goddess!
The last few days I offered Mistress Emma my complete body and mind, way of life (full ownership) to show her my gratitude. I’m so thankful that Mistress Emma wants to put her energy to make this slave a better person and slave for her in the way Mistress Emma likes. I’m aware it will be hard end difficult! I will enjoy but for sure also scream and cry. I also know that Mistress Emma will teach and train me to improve myself every time in order to serve Mistress Emma in the way she wants and likes without any exit strategy.
I begged Mistress Emma to give her slave no chance to run away! Never to stop during a punishment. Also never giving her slave any mercy. Mistress Emma is the only person who can decide when to stop this D/s relationship. Per May 22nd, 2019 this slave will have no rights anymore on his body and mind, on his money, house, car. Mistress Emma will have full control about anything she wants, but Mistress Emma will respect the working hours of this slave. I have a travel time of 75 minutes from my work to Mistress Emma. This means that Mistress will have full carte blanche and control 24/7 without any mercy and limitations (from soft to very extreme).
The goal is to be trained by Mistress Emma to be for her the perfect slave, toy, slut and person who will behave, and offer Mistress Emma my services whenever she requires them!
This idea to live for Mistress Emma my Goddess is getting every hour stronger and stronger although I know there will be also very hard times but I trust Mistress Emma and I’m so grateful to experience and suffer especially for Mistress Emma!
Mistress Emma, again my appologise for my misbehaviour in the past. Your slave is really hoping that you see some improvement over the past weeks. You opened the eyes of your slave during the last live session. Your slave wants to thank you so much that you were willing to give this slave a final chance! I owe you a lot due to this and I’m so grateful!!! Thank you, Mistress Emma!
Your slave Richard